It's Already Gone Too Far': Women and the Transition into Marriage in Lombok, Indonesia

Abstract

Kawin lari is a form of socially sanctioned elopement whereby a young woman is ostensibly 'stolen' from her natal home by a man who wishes to become her husband. It remains a popular method for entering marriage in Lombok. Typically, the marriage is later formalised under Islam. This paper focuses on marital choice and how women in the village of Teduk who kawin lari, may acquiesce to marriage, rather than assert an active choice over who and when to marry. I argue that kawin lari propels many women into an ambivalent zone which causes a rupture in their social identity as gadis (virgin), although their physical virginity may still be intact. Therefore, kawin lari creates a phase of heightened ambiguity and ambivalence regarding women's status. Many women describe kawin lari as an act that places them in a situation which has sudah terlanjur (already gone too far), although the practice can also facilitate women's agency in marital choice. © 2012 Copyright The Australian National University.