A DIFFERENT KIND OF LOVE : GAY RELATIONSHIPS IN SINGAPORE

Abstract

This is not a juicy piece of research. Too much emphasis has already been given to the sexual aspect of gay men's lives. In this study, I present an area of the gay world that has received some attention in other societies, but is seldom explored in Singapore - gay relationships. Given the stereotypical views of gay men, and the fact that they do not have socially sanctioned, "institutionalized" models to emulate, there is a general assumption that gay relationships "simply do not last". In view of this, I examine how gay couples start, maintain as well as develop their relationships within the limits imposed by a predominantly heterosexist Singaporean society. Salient to this study, is the use of stage analysis to trace the characteristics and developments of stages within the life trajectory of gay relationships. Some pertinent issues that gay couples are faced with will also be discussed. Situating them within the gay relationship stages, I examine how these issues affect the pace at which couples and individual gay men traverse the stages. Because different partners in gay relationships may have discrepant views of these salient issues, I also explore the definition and responses of gay couples to conflict within their relationships. Throughout this study, I make constant comparisons between gay and heterosexual relationships. Differences and similarities between local gay relationships and those in other societies will also be highlighted. In my attempt to understand the complexities and difficulties a "deviant" community is faced with in their relationships, I have discovered that gay men, although marginalized, prove to be resilient in their fight for a different kind of love.